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All About Guest List Etiquette

 Everyone will tell you that they don’t really enjoy making their wedding guest list if you ask any couple. The process can be very difficult, especially when competing viewpoints are present. This frequently occurs, especially during the initial revisions. You’ll be shocked by how many people read your initial draft, including members of your family, your coworkers, and friends as well as others in your parents’ social circles, but cutting is a necessary step. It helps to have etiquette rules you may refer to when you reduce your roster to avoid any problems. If you and your fiancé are having trouble making these tough choices, remember that we’re here to support you (and prevent you from second-guessing your final choices). The advice in the following sections will help you streamline your approach and save you a lot of time during this busy wedding planning phase by providing answers to all of your most critical guest list-related questions.

What about the most important conflicts with the guest list? Many couples debate whether to invite their childhood pals to the wedding. It’s crucial to remember that you are not required to include them. Can you picture having dinner with them at some point in the coming year? is a crucial question to ask yourself while choosing who to include on your wedding guest list. In such case, put them on your A-list. Keep their name on the B-list if you used to be close but haven’t spoken to them frequently in a long time. In this manner, you can fill the seat with the individual you have a history with if someone sends their regrets.

The tips head will undoubtedly enhance your wedding guest list experience if you’ve already found our guidance to be beneficial. By using these straightforward suggestions, you can learn the approach and get all of your questions answered.

Which relatives do you choose to invite?


A given for the wedding guest list is your close family, together with your grandparents, aunts, uncles, and first cousins. But when it comes to more distant relatives, it’s best to keep things similar and either invite everyone or no one at all. For instance, unless you want to prepare for the most uncomfortable Thanksgiving dinner of your life the next year, you wouldn’t invite your favorite second cousin and not her siblings.

Something else to consider? Although the majority of etiquette experts will advise you to invite all of your first cousins, you are not required to treat people on either side of the aisle equally just because you are inviting one of them. It’s ideal to address each family based on how close they are to one another. His family is lot closer than ours is, so if your relatives find out that his first cousins were listed while yours weren’t, all they have to say is, “His family is much more conscious of the family-tree breakdown on his side.”

Do you need to invite your coworkers?


Here, too, the same criterion for arranging wedding guests is applicable: Whether to include everyone in your department is up to you. Any coworker you interact with socially outside of work would be an exception; in such scenario, the coworker is actually a friend and not just someone you occasionally like ordering lunch with.

Is your boss required to attend?


Making the decision to include your boss on the guest list for your wedding might be challenging. Go ahead and extend the invitation if you work closely with her or if it would seem bad on you to do otherwise given the office climate. Naturally, the nature of your event should also be taken into account. It’s doubtful that your supervisor would feel insulted if they weren’t invited to a small destination event. However, if you’re organizing a sizable event and you work for a small company, it’s polite—not to mention shrewd in terms of office politics—to invite the boss.

The majority of managers, regardless of whether they’ve been invited, give wedding gifts to their employees when they tie the knot, so don’t worry that it will be perceived as a ruse to score a present.

What is the ideal method for dealing with plus ones?


Nearly all couples struggle with the wedding guest list decision of whether to allow guests to bring dates. On the one hand, you don’t want anyone to feel excluded, especially if they don’t know much about your crew. On the other hand, including “and guest” on envelopes indicates that many strangers will be present on your big day (not to mention that you will be treating these guests to an expensive dinner and dance).

A friend or relative’s fiance must be invited to the wedding if they are engaged. Many people draw the line at truly significant others, which is defined as long-term or live-in partners, and exclude everyone else. If you establish a rule like that, make sure to enforce it uniformly. Something to consider: Being prohibited from bringing a date causes great distress for many single people. Prepare them with the notion and watch where the singles are seated during dinner. Regarding your bridal party, allowing them to bring an escort is optional but would be a nice gesture.

Can you invite only particular kids?


First off, if you’re having a formal dinner or local reception, it’s quite fine (and popular!) to completely exclude children from your guest list. (However, excluding them from daytime or casual parties or destination weddings may be more challenging.)

Opinions on whether to invite some children and not others differ, so pick a clear rule and follow it. Decide on an age limit (older children tend to behave better), or limit it to direct family (the majority of children with wedding responsibilities are close relatives, such as a niece or stepchild—though even they don’t need to stay for the reception).

Not sure how to tell guests that there will be no children at your wedding? According to Anna Post, author of Emily Post’s Wedding Parties, let your invitation speak for itself.

Consider the scenario where you’ve decided to exclude children under the age of five and your pals have an 11-year-old and a 4-year-old. On the inner envelope, you would write the names of the invited guests and the older child, except the youngest. Make a call in advance if you’re concerned that visitors won’t catch the message. As per Post, “You could say, “We just sent out the invites, and we’re thrilled to have you join us, but we’ve decided not to include little children.” I wanted to let you know in advance so you could get a babysitter. I’m hoping you can attend.” Don’t make any exceptions; doing so would be impolite to visitors who have followed your rules.

Do teen invites adhere to the same rules as those for children?

Including children in your wedding in 6 Unexpected Ways

There is no established wedding guest list protocol for inviting teenagers. The “aged enough to receive their own invitation” principle could be used (which is typically 18). However, if you put the legal drinking age at 18, you risk seriously offending any younger teenagers. Teenagers may become even more indignant since they detest being treated like children in general.

Do they have to invite you to their wedding if you were at yours?

A Complimentary Method to Inform Someone They Are Not Invited to the Wedding

The reciprocal entertaining guideline of wedding guest list etiquette is rather strict: They ought to be on your guest list already if your buddies recently got married, you remain close, and your big day is on a par with or larger than theirs. But it is quite OK to leave them off if your friendship has soured since their wedding or if your wedding is lower in size. If you have friends in common who are invited, use caution; let them know about the restriction in your guest list so they won’t gush endlessly about your wedding in front of others who weren’t invited and cause an unpleasant situation for everyone.

Do you need to invite someone if they deliver a gift?

How many guests each family can invite to the wedding should be decided.

Do those who provide engagement or early wedding gifts need to be added to your guest list? The quick response is no. Simply consider this present as a way for the giver to let you and your groom know that you are significant to them.

Review the matter with the person who is closest to them if you are concerned that he or she is anticipating an invitation. Ask your mother, for instance, if it’s a buddy. She will be your best resource for determining how her friends are going to react because she will be aware of the information that has been disseminated to them regarding the guest list—in fact, that information has probably come from her. She will also let you know if adding her friend will cause problems (will your mother have to invite her entire yoga class, for instance?). If you choose to include this person, ensure sure her invitation is sent out right away if the others have already been sent by mail.

Is it impolite to cross off a distant person from the guest list?


Are you still required to keep someone on the guest list if you send them a save-the-date but then have a falling out? It’s not a good idea to inform someone of a party but fail to extend an invitation. How severe is this falling out, is the question you should be asking yourself. It would be a message that you no longer want them in your life if you didn’t extend an invitation. A gesture of reconciliation by including them shows that you believe the distance between you two is just temporary. Decide what message you wish to convey before canceling the invitation.